The Disease

Everywhere I look, you kiss.
 you cuddle.
        you coddle.
               you croon.

When I start to feel a snide remark
     slither
       up
          my
              throat----
 I bite my tongue;
 as much as I want to be bitter,
 I can't.

I feel a pit
in my stomach.

I'm not, that angry girl anymore;
the one who laughs at "you fools."

I want to know what it is that drives you,
puts you in this rabid, ravenous state.

What is it that causes
the ever-glowing twinkle in your eyes,
that keeps you together
despite the constant fights?

Blind to the world
and everything in it, except,
each other----
when I see you like this.

You hunger  for each other;
Cannibals,
so gently tearing each others' flesh.

I wonder,
and the pit in my stomach swells.

Still, I find myself smiling,
witnessing  your joy, I realize---
I want your disease.

I wonder
how everyone's getting infected,
Everyone but me.
I crave the madness that you share.

I name the pit envy,
        and love
 was your disease.